DIAMOND RING OR RUBBER BAND?

   Its another saturday when wedding bells ding. Decorated cars, church aisle and the wedding ring. Invited guests and well wishers troop in, even the jollof rice- searching, ultimate gate-crashers, grace the occassion with their black polyethylene bags well tucked in their pockets. The groom stares at the bride of his pride, begging God to cause his "exes" present to fall into deep sleep. The bride stares at her man in return, speaking to herself in deafening silence, "Dear God, silence his best man, let him say nothing till I have this ring". The priest steps forward and commence the "welding", ending the ritual with "You may kiss the bride again". Common folks, don't get mad at him, you've both savoured the flavour off each other's lips before this day.

   The church drama ends and the reception hall hosts the part two. The latest couple tear down the dance floor with hot dance steps. MC finds it hard stopping the love drunk birds, you're on a lost course thinking they are dancing for the same reason. One is dancing in anticipation of the oncoming thanksgiving at night after spending this much to tie the knot, while the other? Well, thanking God for answering her S.O.S call. Giving a woman that ring at this age of hers isn't marriage no more, its rescue.

   I'm sitted on my couch and reminiscing, sharing with myself a self-induced laughter, as my mind recollect some wedding scenes. Some are those of this so close a couple that hardly agree on anything, caught up in another web of hot argument right in the car, on their way to getting joined, and the scene of the bride who got joined to her groom's chair cause the latter arrived late.

   As many cross the bridge into "The Land of the Married" today, one can't deny the fact that some just signed their death sentences and hypertension agreement sheet. Solomon once said, a beautiful woman without discretion is like a gold ring in the snout of a pig. As a man, you know you're in bondage and a slave to her beauty when she keeps dosing your life with "Soole (rat poison)" and you can't find strength within to refuse it. The village witches are onto you, find help ! That's enough advice to make one think twice before taking the oath and many who shun it, learn their lesson the hard way. 

   I remember the words of my friend D.J, who once said, "some women deserve nothing but a rubber band on that fourth finger"....While still rolling on the floor at the thought of those words, I'll like to dedicate the picture below to women who take a ride in the wind, disappear at the whiff of challenges, leaving their men to deal with it solo, only to come back with that sad-puppy-dog-look, asking for a second chance to make a first impression when the storm is over ! Loyalty carries a badge of honour many can't see, so Diamond ring or Rubber band?....its your pick !

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