Dear wife, na you I won follow relate today. Whether that miniskirt-wearing, mosquito-looking legs go siddon for office dey continue dey scatter your husband brain, na your hand e kuku dey. Whether your husband go continue dey tey for office, dey trowey lie give you every time say na one missing file him and security man dey find since, na your hand e still dey. Me I know say one of the things wey dey cause katakata na something wey I won mention for front.
If we rewind back to the time wey him dey chase you, so tey him promise say him no go stop and him go even follow you enter your mama belle if na there you go gree talk that 'yes', we go sabi say the things wey you dey do back then, wey dey make him head dey hot like say Jerry knack frypan for Tom head, you don stop am.
My dear, me sef no like as Baba Iyabo no dey come house early but na you no dey give am reason to dey hungry come house. I know say you sabi cook pass Mama Put but e get one thing wey you dey do wey dey irritate am. Make I talk true, no be say him siddon, come design how him go take cheat on you, no be say him chop ogbono soup wey dem don baptize with love potion. Na the things wey these young girls dey wear for their house dey first ginger your husband to dey go there. Sharap jare make person hear word ! Which one be na lie, all men are dogs ! No let the entire man race suffer wetin one man do you. Oda naa, if na you be man, se you go gbadun to dey come from work every evening come meet woman wey be say na these dull-appearing, romance-murdering, woodie-killing, smoke-smelling, electricity-repelling, bugs-welcoming, flies-attracting, suffering-tagging, Heaven-forsaken, leprosy-inflicting, crazy-looking, yeye wrappers she dey always like to dey wear? Make I tell you, if you won claim your husband attention again, start with him eyes !....abeg baff well, do your hair, freshen up, spray flit for body, trowey that wrapper make you wear that cloth wey be say him sef go see and him go dey follow you around the house unconsciously. Come see whether him go like go siddon for that particular chair, spread leg for table like grasshopper, kon dey pretend like say him dey read newspaper when e be say, na call him dey call those bed bugs wey him dey use low battery take save their numbers. Iya mi, forget the thought say him go dey see you as bad girl for house, e better make you be his only licenced bad girl wey him go dey appreciate every day than make him dey carry your pikin allowances go burn for these small girl houses. See, your husband no gbadun to dey see you in those attire wey dey remind am say una two dey near grave every blessed day. Him like to dey feel the beauty of him youth even when the hair wey tanda for him head don grey finish. If you doubt am, why dem love potion people dey mix dem jazz with talcum powder? Why dem no dey put am inside that wrapper? Make we yan truth ! e no go work ! Na the stench of that locust beans laddened fabric go kill am ! Even sorcery dey hail better thing. Abeg, no dey tempted to use jazz catch am o, 'coz na you go still suffer am when him start to dey forget motor for office dey waka come house from Apapa to Oshodi because say you don press him return button ontop that remote control. You know say na small small person dey craze enter market. Wise up.
Ehn ehn, Don Allah, these rotten names wey you dey call am sef no dey make am trip for you. Make you stop this Daddy Tokunbo- Iya Basira thing jare. E dey murder romance pass rat poison ! If you hear the kind names wey these yeye girls dey use obtain una husband wey fit born them as last born for house, you sef go dey weep for your marital destiny. If you research well, you go sabi say most of these ladies no fine reach half of una, na the pan cake dem dey use take deceive most men. Beer sef wey don block brain no dey let man see well most times. If most of them dey use clear head see wetin dem dey carry go hotel go climb, na only dem go siddon begin dey swear for themselves when the play don end !. Biko, save your marriage, call am sweet names make him sef forget the original name wey them give am for the naming ceremony wey him papa spend money do. Cook better food for am make you find a way to him heart. Be the perfect wine to him glass for inside una bed chambers. Let the fear of madam counter the fall for those mosquito legs when dem call am. Make all of am love all of you as John Cena sing am...sorry, John legend !
So, till another time, na the Married Men Association of Nigeria (MMAN) say make I tell you say make you help them fire that secretary.
This article is copyrighted. Please do not reproduce in part or whole, in any form, without obtaining my written permission. Thank you.
No comments:
Post a Comment